The horrible, horrible water!

It was midnight and the date was Dec.1st, not many days ago. It was my turn to stay awake and keep an eye on the level the water rose to. And rising it was! ‘Water’ is too good a word to describe the most germ laden liquid ever. It was the most sickening shade of brownish-green and the stench was like that of the puke of a cat that had a half-decomposed lizard and dried fish for dinner. It had risen steadily throughout the day and had swallowed everything -  cars, bikes, the little shop down the street, etc., not to mention entire houses and everything (I mean every single thing those people had) inside them. By divine grace, we happen to live one floor above ground and the water hadn’t yet reached us. But this night, it was raining hard again and the water was just two feet from entering our house. I was shitting my pants. We were four of us in the house; my dad, mom and the misfortunate neighbour from downstairs. I remembered the previous night and how things had caught us unawares. 

It had been raining the entire month of November but the rain the night before was unusual. It had been non-stop the entire day with intermittent variations in intensity. Towards the evening, electricity was shut off and the late hours saw much stronger wind and a much harsher downpour. I had been woken up at around 1am by an unusual number of exhaust notes from the apartment building beside us. People from the neighbourhood were cramming their vehicles into the parking space above which the building stood on stilts. They were doing this to avoid getting their smoke-pipes filled with water since the houses on this side of the locality were on slightly higher ground. How pointless it all seems now! This, however, had cautioned my senses which prompted me to take a peek at the front gate of our house to check if there was any reason to be concerned. Reassuringly, I could see no water other than, of course, the rain beating down hard. Though a bit unnerved, I had thought to myself, ”How long can this crazy rain possibly hold up?!” and had gone back to bed without the slightest clue about what was to happen.

Around 3:30am, I had woken up again to the sound of the raging showers and shuffled up to the window that faced the front gate, egged by lingering curiosity. Though the small canal down the alley opposite our house had over-flowed a couple of times (notable a few days before), there had never been a case, up until now, when the water ever came up to our gates and so I was expecting to see exactly what I had seen sometime back - solid ground. To my horror, the ground had disappeared and in its place was a grey mass of water that had already drowned about three feet of the gate. I had rushed downstairs to see it up close and to warn the person downstairs who, I presumed, might be sleeping without the slightest knowledge of what was happening. On my way to his door was our car and I could see through its windows that the water had entered into the cabin upto seat level. Even as we waded back to the stairwell, we never imagined it was going to get this worse. I had awoken my parents and the four of us had been awake the rest of the night. 

In the elapsed 24 hours, the water had risen from 0 feet to around 12 feet, and on this night I was convinced that the deluge was not going to stop till it devoured everything. And if that happened, our plan was to use the crude raft we had made out of some wood on the terrace that used to hold up a shade. We were going to try and reach the multi-storey hospital next door somehow and climb to the top floor and stay there till someone came to our rescue. I was thinking about what would happen if one of us were to fall off the namesake raft. None of us knew how to swim and the water would be too deep to get out of. As I checked the water level periodically, it kept rising half a step at a time up the stairway to our floor. Eventually, it reached the landing about five steps below the front door. I imagined a dirty and creepy man, made completely out of the flood water, walking up the flight of stairs in super slow-motion, all the while giving me an evil stare wearing the nastiest of smirks. 

In a few minutes, a miracle of miracles happened and the water started receding. The difference was lesser than an inch but the ugly mark left by its maximum level it had reached was now above its present. More time passed; it went down by a step. Then two, and then a few more. The hideous man was descending the stairs. But, by day break, it stopped lowering and stood there at a steady height. However, we knew the worst had passed.The rains had abated and slowly came to a stop. All we had to do now was survive with the potable water, food and candles we had left. The rest of the day, we saw boats rowed by men of the armed forces and the corporation taking women and children to safety and helicopters dropping food packets for all of us who were marooned in our own homes. We harvested rain water from showers that came down the following nights and improvised ways to pass the time (or just stared into the distance lost in thought). Honourable mention - the incredible endurance of the Nokia button-phone battery we used to listen to the radio while shrouded in darkness. The people on the radio were repeating helpline numbers with the sincerest intents, but we had no cellular network to contact anyone. Deep into the night, we heard shouting and wailing from the hospital next to us. We couldn’t make out what is was about at the time.

Within two days, the flood waters receded completely. We were back on the ground assessing the damage and seeking information. By this time, many families had moved to relief camps. The whole place seemed deserted but for a few of us. It took a few more days for electricity to return. Taps greeted running water when drowned water pumps were finally repaired. When the cell towers started functioning, we received calls from almost everyone we knew from afar. They had read about the floods and the deaths in the hospital right next door. The wailing had been about that. So many lives had departed from so close to us. We later learnt that the ICU unit had been flooded and the generators too. Some of them had passed away on the way to another hospital.

The whole place looks disaster-struck and depressing. People whose belongings were destroyed, are throwing everything out onto the streets which are eventually being collected by corporation folks who come with a bulldozer and a truck. Cars are being towed out and mechanics can be seen working on motorcycles and scooters that had gotten submerged. Many have returned from camps but some have left the area altogether. I hear stories about people who got stuck neck deep in the flood water and were rescued just in time by navy men. I see reports all over the news about several deaths and the state of people who are still surrounded by water. The usual blame-game TV shows and political fault-finding have begun their rampage like scavengers after a battle. At ground level, a mild version of the stench still lingers and though everyone is hard at work getting things back into functioning order, I know that each one, within our hearts, has a ton of pure gratitude for the return of the sun.

 Chennai - hot, hotter, hottest? .. I’m afraid, not any more!

A salute filled with utmost gratitude to each and every kind soul who reached out to help.

Recurring Romance

It's early in the morning. I sit at the edge of the bed.. knowing it's time to leave. My head feels heavy. I hate the thought of what must be done; it weighs me down. The unfairness of it all crushes me.. I hesitate to get up. My conscience begins to curse me. A strange sense of destiny engulfs the mind. I decide to pay heed to my inner voice. But then, all of a sudden, I hear her voice; that sultry, beckoning voice which could seduce even the most hard-headed of all.  Ernest and yet without the slightest sign of haste, she says.. "So you just abandon me here when I clearly want you to stay? Is that how this is gonna go?! Nobody is waiting for you out there, you know. No one wants you more than I do. You owe nothing to anyone except me. Where is your love? Is this how you repay me? You're taking me for granted, aren't you?! You ungrateful coward! You think I'll be right here tomorrow, don't you? Or are you afraid of what the world will think of you? You know you can never satisfy them. Come back to me, my love. Come back into my arms.  Forget everything else. Nothing is real except our love. Stop being afraid. Embrace me. Let me cradle your head and take you to a safe place. Come back into my arms. Let's be together in love for a little longer. Just a little bit more, I promise". I can't fight it anymore. I'm too deep in love. My resolve crumbles and I rush back to her - my sweet and undeniable, foggy-morning nap: that cozy state of pure earthly bliss!

....

I open my eyes after what seems to be seconds...

Shit!!! It's 10:30!

Citing source: Importance of Women Empowerment

http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2013/oct/10/indias-women-mixed-truth/

69th independence day - and porn is the major issue. How appropriate! (TL;DR available at the end)

Many Indians feel shy to even utter the word ‘porn’. Well guess what?! The Indian government has made it easier by making it front page news! (#newbanidea) Before we begin bashing the govt., as we usually do at the drop of a hat, let’s get to the true story first. Kamlesh Vaswani is a 43-year old advocate at the Indore High Court. After much thought, he became convinced that (and I quote), “..watching porn fuels violence against women. It propels men to commit sex crimes”. So, he used his knowledge about the legislature and filed a PIL (Public Interest Litigation) to ban porn. There are two things that shouldn’t be overlooked here - firstly, the man is a socially responsible citizen who was troubled, like many of us, by several news bits of violence against women; secondly, this man has brought to light, once again, the power that a PIL holds. 

There are umpteen number of articles and news reports out there which take a clear stand against, if not straight-up ridicule, the porn ban. Quotes of movie stars and favourite authors being re-iterated hundreds of times across all sorts of media. But, the fact of the matter is, none of them actually ‘did’ anything better to stop violence against women. I cannot laud Kamlesh Vaswani for his intelligence, but I laud him for his initiative, however misguided it might have been. The motive of his actions was beyond personal gain. Hardly any of us even bother to do anything about anything bad in India. “There’s always gonna be a million reasons not to do something..” - someone must’ve said it.

This independence day, I’d like to share with you the results of what I’ve been thinking about for a long time. The answer to the question ‘What is the most important social issue that we must focus our energies on?’. I have taken great care to remain politically unbiased and logically sound, so, stay with me here. It’s ‘Women empowerment’ - yes, two of the most frequented words of Rahul Gandhi, the boy-faced heir to the ‘Hand’ that asks you to wait patiently for anything and everything. “What about starving children, poverty, farmers, education, cleanliness, corruption, lack of infrastructure, etc.?”, you might ask. Well, the simple answer is - solving this one issue can greatly help solve all others. How? - imagine a train with one engine attached to the front and pulling a lot of carriages behind it. It’s most likely going to struggle and produce disappointing performance. How about adding another engine to the rear? That is the difference an empowered female population would make to the country. Well, this just to elucidate the economic advantage; the administrative and social advantages are many-fold.

More women in the workforce means more financial independence for them, which means they no longer have to adhere to domestic ‘rules’. When more women begin to choose their lifestyles, men will be forced to respect them in society, whether they like it or not. Lack of respect is at the core of violence against women; domestic or otherwise.This will of course need to be accompanied by more women in politics, which is were quicker changes can happen. A huge majority of current housewives are not lazy or jobless as some might think. They take the pains to keep their houses clean, to make their children learn, to maintain a sustainable budget, to bargain with every shopkeeper, to up-keep everyone’s health and to even preserve a certain level of morality. Imagine if they could treat the locality like their home; or even the city, or maybe even the country. There is no doubt in my mind that more women in politics can easily outweigh any negatives with a substantial number of positives. Any other issue we address later will benefit from a considerably increased effectiveness; far more than we can achieve now. 

TL;DR : Porn ban was misguided, but no point in bashing anyone; real answer is empowerment of women.

Please lift my spirits by posting comments people! Don’t make me feel like I’m talking to a wall  :) 

You might have to hold your breath for this one - The Toxic Paruppu(dhal/lentil) Fart

So, one of my friends had introduced me to another 'interesting' friend of his named Guru sometime back. 
"This guy thinks in ways nobody would even venture to", he had told me. 
"He's like a uniquely capable out-of-the-box thinker and would catch you off guard with his counter questions. I mean, you wouldn't even be able to digest such a question let alone answer it. And his ancestry has a line of absolute geniuses, predominantly mathematics professors". 

I hadn't taken it for anything more than a bit of friendly praise to generate a good image about the guy. But I remember those exact words now and can't help but think how perfectly apt they were.

For a while now, I have been thinking about coming up with some sort of device to help women escape rape. I mean, a woman should have some sort of defense system as a last resort. However much the police, her friends and relatives try to protect her, at the hour of need only her instincts and the stuff with her will actually help save herself. So, I've been thinking about tasers and pepper sprays but nothing seemed to fit the bill. I mean, it should not be that just the woman with sufficient money gets to protect herself. The solution should be cheap enough that with a reasonable amount of funding this stuff should be freely available for any woman anywhere across India. I thought and thought but just couldn't come up with a good solution on my own. So I thought I should ask intelligent people for suggestions and ideas. Out of nowhere popped the thought - 'who better than Guru'; clearly the hype had worked. So, I got his number, called him up and said that I'd like to go over and talk to him about some stuff on my mind and he was totally chill about it. That was how he always seemed, chill and laid back about everything. Even his eyes were half closed almost always making him look like he was balancing between being awake and asleep. I went up his apartment to meet him and thought it'd be a good idea to get some Samosas from that awesome chat place along the way. He opened his door and let me in to the shabbiest of apartments I've ever been to. No furniture, just stuff like papers, books, pictures, musical instruments, electronics, a lamp or two and some unexpected things like a giant hello kitty doll, etc., lying around all over the place. Surprisingly there wasn't any funny smell. Nothing dirty or stinky anywhere, just messy and totally disorganised. I felt like I was inside a dope-junkie's imagination. Guru smelt the delicious aroma rising from the plastic bag in my hand with closed eyes and said, "Ahhh, the golden-brown tetrahedrons of gustatory delight!". I was happy I had made a good decision. "Definitely, Tea to go with them.. the perfect slow-boiled tea it must be. I'll be right back, why don't you go ahead and find a place to settle down". I smiled and proceeded to a corner of the living room which seemed to have relatively enough real estate to park my rear end.I sat down and noticed that the walls were largely empty but for a large painting that hung in the middle of the room. A recreation of "Woman in front of Van Gogh s sunflowers".  Guru was back after putting the teapot on the stove. After some pleasantries we got to talking about the primary purpose of my visit. 

I asked him, "So, what do you think of this? Do you have any ideas or inputs?"
Guru immediately said," Why a device?"
I had no answer to that. But I guess he wasn't expecting one.
"Why can't the woman herself be the weapon?"
"Oh, you mean Martial arts?"
"No I mean the woman's body".
"Rape resistance condoms?"
"No, I mean farts".
"What?!!"
"Yes, farts. Have you ever been on a public bus during the evening? It's the most disgusting place to be in. A collection of sweaty people from the middle and lower classes working various jobs, hailing from unheard-of places, worshipping different gods, but all assembled together by fate in that tight space to smell one man's flatulence. Perspiring like your body is crying out, suffocating and yet trying to hold your breath as a respite from  the horrendous odour, only to discover, on your next unavoidable inhale, that a toxic addition has been made to the already nauseating atmosphere  by another socially-participating citizen. Do you think lust would ever cross your mind when you are in that place?"
I was flabbergasted and was looking at him like I had seen a ghost. "No", I managed to say.
"Well, there you have it. The perfect rape repellent. Toxic-Farting. Women should just eat the spiciest dishes and the most protein rich pulses at lunch to prepare themselves for their evening sojourns into dark lonely alleys. Their digestive system would be ready with flatulence of exotic, eye-watering fragrances to dispense upon rape-attempt situations "
"You want them to fart when a rapist attacks?", I retorted, rather redundantly.
"Precisely. If I were a woman, I probably wouldn't mind even soiling myself, if need be".
"Wow".
"It would also work for cases involving multiple rapists, surprise ambushes and drugging".
"So.. They should build up gas in their bodies and feel uncomfortable everyday to avoid probable rape"
"It's not unnatural... Especially on an Indian diet.. We get gas all the time. Its just a matter getting it under control and using it to our advantage. Or did u think girls have special physiologies that don't produce it?"
"You must be joking".
"It's just a matter of looking at things a certain way. Ooh, tea must be ready by now".

I could not recuperate from what I had just heard. Any civilised man would find it appalling to listen to such things. I didn't say much about the topic for the rest of the time I was there and just focused on the things in the room and the remarkable deliciousness of the tea-samosa combination we had. It was only few days later that I reflected upon the conversation; I had consciously taken a break from my mini-research just to avoid doing that. I realised how a guy like me, without sisters, couldn't even handle the mention of a girl farting. Many of us imagine girls as delicate beings who are perfect, angelic and embodiments of everything pure and beautiful, almost placing them on a pedestal, in sharp contrast to those who see them as sub-human, like livestock, that 'deserve' to be raped if they don't bow their heads in accordance to certain prehistoric 'rules'. Two extremes, neither of which, I'm sure, women would want us to be at.

The elephant in nobody's room

I must not be alone in wondering what happened to the old India. The India we have heard of in our history lessons. One with vibrant and prosperous cities. The India that Columbus decided to sail dangerous seas to find. The land of spices, science, philosophy and flourishing trade. The magical place that had an awesome reputation for itself all around the world. They say the islamic invaders from the north-west destroyed most of it. Then there was the British colonising spree that left almost nothing in its wake. We could probably research about how exactly these things happened, but, at the end of the day, we are left with not a single relatable aspect of early India. Also, we are very skeptical about the authenticity of every ancient facet brought back to life. So much so that we treat it almost like an abominable ghost. Ayurveda is such a good example. The doubts are not entirely on whether the ancient practices of Ayurveda best or match up to currently accepted medicine but rather on the credibility of the person/s who claim to have resurrected them magically from thin air. Con-men galore in the brave new India, I’m afraid. Be what it may, we can all agree on the wealth of knowledge, which must have taken hundreds, if not thousands, of years to gather, now lost to us. Yoga, however, seems to have seeped through somehow. Probably because the western world fancied an interest in it. 

The end result, thus, is that we don’t get to bask in the reflected-glory of our forefathers. We are not in a position to expect much respect anywhere in the world just based on our nationality. In reality, foreigners might find more reasons to ridicule us; courtesy, for example, our friendly neighbourhood rapists. Like it or not, we have been handed down a legacy that seems to have been handpicked to make us feel ashamed. Irresponsible government, mindless customs, casteism, racism, sexism, age-ism (bade hai tho sahi hai - if an elder said it, it must be right), homophobia, xenophobia, etc. Thankfully though, all-out war is not one of the things that we have inherited. A fairly good constitution and the privilege of democracy are other things we are rarely thankful for. The negatives often overwhelm us way too much to appreciate the potential of the positives. A little thought can lead to the realisation that these few good things we have left are all we need to seize the future. The democracy we so casually mock everyday and the peace that we take for granted are instruments so powerful that they can completely wipe-out injustice and misery from our nation. If our generation could find within ourselves one-hundredth of the patriotism that our great-grandfathers displayed through their fearless struggle for freedom; we could write a brighter new future for our successors like they did. 

The question remains as to what we actually intend to do. New doors have opened all around us. One could pick a door and never look back. Those who do not have the privilege to walk through can loathe their lives away in jealousy. One could stay and make a respectable livelihood instead, with a front-row seat to the tamasha (comedy). Or, craziest of all, gear-up, get involved and own up to the consequences. Whatever the choice may be, a strange sense of pride always lingers. I, for one, would never ever fake my country of birth.

Anger ( == | != ) bad ???

There can't be any counter argument when it comes to anger being bad; or is there?

Let’s break it down a bit, to better understand the intricacies.

Anger is as natural as joy. 

Pretty much a strange bit of chemistry and hormonal biology happening somewhere deep in the brain. 

It is hurtful.

A pleasant experience for neither the people around you nor yourself, after you’ve calmed down and discovered how unbecoming you had been.

It is harmful. 

Nothing like a little blood pressure and stress to cut you innings down, right from under your nose.

It can cause headaches, anxiety, depression, strokes, insomnia, digestive problems, etc. A definite health risk if you are generally hot-headed.

It solves nothing.

Getting angry is just a vent of frustration and not really a magical way to solve the problem at hand.

It could lead to unfavourable outcomes.

Black-eyes or broken ribs from fights, for example; in case the person/s you get mad at have an equally bad, or worse, tendency to get riled up and things get nasty. In general, people might hesitate to socialise with you, to say the least.

Weighing the pros and cons leaves us with a straight-forward conclusion. Anger is bad. Then why do even the best of us exhibit this behaviour? Why do we enjoy the hyper-glamourised, anger-driven action sequences in our movies and TV shows? Why does it seem normal when politicians get visibly angry on national television, activists shout out their anger on streets, sports persons get angry on the field, spouses get angry on their cheating partners, etc. ? Why is nobody running a campaign to eradicate anger from our everyday lives altogether? Let’s investigate.

Extreme anger is usually termed ‘animosity’ and that gives us a good clue as to where to start looking. In the animal kingdom, we observe anger as a tool to exhibit defensiveness and/or dominance. A Lion king gets angry and attacks any contender who lays claim to his supremacy and position in the pride. A monkey screeches in anger to scare away predators. A cobra raises its hood and hisses menacingly at you till you get the hell out of its perimeter. Do these examples lend us an insight into what’s happening to us when we snap? A little, maybe, but not much.

Getting back to civilisation, we pretty much have a good idea why we sometimes blow a fuse over simple things. Our expectations are not met and we get so disappointed that we don’t seem to get a handle on ourselves. Or, we feel our rights have been violated and it is conceptually so  unacceptable that we flip out. However, this is just another example of how certain actions/events in life don’t meet our expectations. The anger is greater when this happens where/while we least expect it. 

So, we have that figured out. 

But, this doesn’t explain why we still let the idea of ‘getting angry’ live on in our modern societies. Shouldn’t it be discarded completely by the entire population? 

Well, I believe I might have a possible answer why we continue to ‘celebrate’ (if I may say so) anger.

The key is an essential concept at the core of it, namely ‘righteousness’. It turns a detestable human reaction to a glorified one. And rightly so, if I may add. Anger, in its righteous form, is the force that has turned the gears of change across the world. It had caused revolutions and reforms that have been instrumental in ensuring a more just and fair society in the future. Whichever country we are from, there have been brave people in our history who have raged against injustice and inequality to forge new customs. They questioned the norm and were hated for it. If they didn’t have the righteous anger inside them that fuelled them on, they would have abandoned their quest and disappeared into oblivion leaving things as they were. How's that for a counter argument?!

So is anger altogether bad? Certainly not. 

The trick is to perform a ‘righteousness test’ before you decide to run with your anger. Hard to do in a split second, but with enough practice and a positive attitude, things can only get better. 

P.S.  (Personal rant)

In an Indian context, especially Tamil Nadu, we are constantly taught to kill our anger from a very early age onward. Whole generations have been turned bovine and voiceless when it comes to blatant everyday blasphemies in administration, politics, media and the private sector. Ginormous capitation fees, rampant corruption, conceited MLAs, bullying policemen, bigoted news persons, presumptuous customer-service agents, inconsiderate bosses etc. are all welcome to stay as long as they please in our state. Why? Because we are too logically sound to overlook the ill effects of anger, whether righteous or not. Basically we just want to be respectful and respectable, ‘nice’ people!