Half of us

“No economy can prosper when half its population is at home cooking for the other half”. It may not be ‘half’ these days, but we cannot shy away from admitting that it must still be at least half of all Indian women. What exactly is women-‘empowerment’? What is this ‘power’ that needs to be made available to women? And what do women need this power for? It is strange how people who actually care about these things get pepped up with emotions a la righteousness every time they hear the words ‘empowerment’ and ‘women’ in the same sentence. Not that I don’t; I care too. Maybe a bit too much to take the words at face-value. 

“Women-empowerment” in itself essentially leads us to believe that in the current state of things women do not have an agreeable amount of ‘power’ in their capacity. The “em” in empowerment means someone has to provide the means or the power itself, to women. “Women” is an all inclusive term of the female population. Contextually, it could also mean ‘most’ women or ‘many’ women or even ‘some’ women; leaving out a fair amount of inert members of the fairer gender. In India, I believe I can safely presume that the context covers ‘most’ women. So who ‘empowers’ ‘most’ women? Are women, with an agreeable amount of power in their capacity, going to empower  the ones less fortunate? If this is the case, then the context of ‘most’ women being powerless means only a ‘few’ women are powerful enough to aid the former. Notably, if the power deprived  women were going to help themselves/each-other, then the term wouldn’t be “Women-empowerment” but “Women self-empowerment”. So, naturally, this can be ruled out. For ‘few’ to help ‘many’, the few must hold a lot of authority/dynamism. Again, considering the country under discussion, this is clearly not the case. Thus, the only other entity/group that can actually make “Women-empowerment” happen at the moment is men. Lucidly, the words so ironically represent what Indian women go through every single day rendering them burdened and voiceless. They have their dreams, ambitions and aspirations to rise above their predicament and make an independent life for themselves; only to realise later in life that however much they tried, they inevitably end up having to bow down to a male father/brother/husband/father-in-law/boss to make essential things go on in their lives. Knowing this may help us deduce the meaning the word ‘power’ holds. Very much like the meagreness of the Mangalyaan’s (Mars-Orbiter) budget; all it should take to make Indian women feel empowered is merely the ability to independently meet everyday necessities. Not “equality” with men! They might just want condescending men out of the equation. 

 Though it is tough to admit this as a man; we Indian men are still propagators of a patriarchal society in this 21st century. We secretly cherish the power, however stupidly measly it is, we hold that women don’t. We like it when women come to us asking for help. It is an opportunity for us to play the ‘knight in shining armour’ and show them how ‘benevolent’ we are. It is remarkable that this is all it takes to get us power-drunk. Maybe its because of our heavy domestication; pretty much like how we would probably get high on just one hit of neat alcohol. We have grown up watching our mothers spending their mornings in the kitchen spinning like tops to make a good breakfast while our fathers sat in the living room reading the newspaper in a laid-back chair. We know the hierarchy of our family like the back of our hand. We have seen how every movie-heroine/hero’s sister, through  choices of her own, ends up in a precarious circumstance; how she cowers with fear when the villain glares at her; and how the hero always comes to the aid of the damsel in distress, a zillion times. Our fables teach us how women, supposedly, are prone to making bad calls and thus shouldn’t be allowed to call the shots at all. Even proverbs like “Pen budhdhi pin budhdhi” (Translated-jist : A women’s mind is a step behind that of a man’s) openly dismiss women as bad decision makers who are incapable of fending for themselves. Modern Indian men might claim that they are beyond all this; but truth is, it does not wash away so easily. A genderist superiority complex still lurks in the shadows within our minds. Even when we think of Women-empowerment, we picture ourselves giving a hand to a woman in a ditch and pulling her up. The whole point is actually NOT doing that. The point is to leave no ditch unfilled so to avoid them falling into it in the first place. And I believe it our duty as fellow citizens to do so.

But wait, there's a twist! It is not just us men who have been priding our sexist culture, women too grew up witnessing the same things from an impressionable age. Arguably, even the average modern 21st century Indian woman has a latent genderist inferiority complex lurking in her mind. And that simple aspect takes her through looping guilt-trips every single time she takes a decision contrary to the customary. Other women in her circle probably only make things worse. Even to this day, metropolitan mothers chide their daughters for not wearing ‘proper’ clothes. While contemporary friends get generous with their “OMG”’s and “Seriously?”’s on simple things. I can only imagine how it must be like for a woman to have to endure so much friction everyday on every single choice  she makes.  And ever too often, ‘friction’ is an understatement. It must like walking with your feet deep in molten tar; every step taken needs the strength to take a hundred. No wonder the term “Women-empowerment” has caught on among the masses. Maybe many modern women genuinely need a helping hand or strong moral support. They need the power of conviction, regardless of its source; not to meet their bare necessities, but to put power-drunk men and irreversibly messed-up women in their place. Not to mention, getting rid of that splinter of doubt and skepticism in their own minds.